I am learning.

Gradually, painfully, joyfully, beautifully,

that life is fragile & time is finite.

God pushes, I pull. I expect to follow God in a life of comfort. That’s funny, really. Lukewarm. Hoping to build a kingdom with a puny faith.

What I’ve come to recognize is that my faith is stuck in a paradoxical rut. I pray for growth & understanding, I long to feel closer to God. But selfishly, I expect to ripen without rain.

I would imagine my gardener is puzzled what I’m planning to cultivate for Him if I’m hoping to root myself in dry soil. A tree can’t bear fruit without relying on the ground it’s rooted in.

I think time is one of our greatest challenges as followers of God. What a funky concept He created as a tool to challenge those who claim to love Him.

The life we’re designed for will always have more time, but never enough.

Well that’s just whack.

Time is temporary, earthly. But I choose to let time overwhelm me. Whether it’s too little, too much – too slow, too fast, I choose to see this blessing as a curse.

The worth of years, weeks, days, hours, minutes.

Relationships are precious. People are deserving. Education is a blessing. Nature is a gift. Self care is vital. Mentally, physically, spiritually.

But what consumes our time?

Negativity that overshadows opportunity. Comparison that steals joy. Money for right now, because it might mean happiness, eventually?

But will there ever be enough money? Enough approval? Few enough enemies? Few enough pounds?

Heck if I know, but what I do know is that time will keep moving. I believe we are challenged to prioritize

How we choose to prioritize our time is a form of praise. Our greatest act of gratitude. What is worth your time? Your energy? How do you live out the love you claim to believe in?

I want to be a daughter of God that loves time. To see that limited time adds value to relationships, worth to experiences, bliss in discomfort.