messy thoughts that won’t leave me alone

I don’t know what the meaning of life is. My heart’s first reaction is God. The meaning of life is God. But I don’t really know what that means. I don’t really know who, or what, God is either. Maybe the meaning of life is finding out who God is. Sometimes I think God is…

Nudge?

Business school is definitely not the easiest place to feel or look like a follower of God. Truthfully, stepping between school and the church, I feel looked down upon because “pursuing a career in finance” doesn’t exactly sound as selfless and Christian-ish as pursing nursing, teaching, ministry, etc. Here’s the paradox that seems to be…

Wholehearted Health

I believe in health, but I know that is complicated. I know that my relationship with diet and exercise could be improved. Like a lot of women, I tend to calorie-count, exercise obsess, and feel guilty about what I eat far too often. However, I am blessed to have a sense of self-awareness that keeps…

Good grief

“God allows us to feel the frailty of human love so that we’ll appreciate the strength of His.” – CS Lewis A year ago, I made this blog as a New Year’s resolution thinking I had it all figured out. I saw Christianity as a one way highway to the good life – and I…

Unknown

“May today there be peace within. May today you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself & of others. May you use the gifts you’ve received & pass on the love that has been given to you….

Beauty in Becoming

I am learning. Gradually, painfully, joyfully, beautifully, that life is fragile & time is finite. God pushes, I pull. I expect to follow God in a life of comfort. That’s funny, really. Lukewarm. Hoping to build a kingdom with a puny faith. What I’ve come to recognize is that my faith is stuck in a…

Centered

I am filled up, refreshed, and reminded of who I am created to be. I thought God was bringing me home this weekend because my family needed me. But after a quick 2 days home it was clear I was the one who needed them so badly. Sometimes my clearest communication with God feels a bit…

filled.

People told me for the last 6 months being a WOW leader is exhausting. They were right. People have told me for the last 6 months how pointless 90% of endless training is. They were right. People have told me for the last 6 months how much money I would spend on this week. Again,…

Fruitful

Ephesians 3:17-19 I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together to grasp how wide and how long and how deep is the love of Christ.  A month ago, I wouldn’t have bet a million dollars that folding laundry for a month would change my life. But I left 25 days of…

Goosebump Chasing

It’s easy to feel God in our goosebump moments. I’m talking about the way a worship song can urge you to lift your hands to heaven, a cabin full of young life campers crying together in their brokenness, a mission trip changing the way you count your blessings. These types of moments are designed for goosebumps. They’re…

Construction site

I think I forget that I am not finished yet. I fear being insignificant. I fear not being enough for people. Or perhaps I fear not being enough for God..? Lately, I forget the beauty of committing our lives to Christ. Initially discovering the beauty of Christ is full of joy & peace & freedom – talk…

Humanness

“I am sure that God keeps no one in waiting unless He sees that it is good for them to wait.” -CS Lewis So, I haven’t published anything for over a month. Why? In all honesty, I would call it embarrassment – or perhaps guilt – of a shaken faith. Spring quarter, I’ve thrown God…