Unknown

“May today there be peace within. May today you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself & of others. May you use the gifts you’ve received & pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones & allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, & love. It is there for each and every one of us.” – St. Therese

My promise to myself at this time last year was that I would become more comfortable with the word “unknown.”

Quite frankly, I haven’t done a very good job. But that’s human I suppose. A for effort.

I do however, think I am learning more and more where the weeds in my faith need to be pulled.

I enjoy busyness. I thrive off of hustle & bustle & crossing off to do lists and accomplishing the world before 9am. This is a blessing and a curse.

A blessing to be pulled out of bed by the joy of a new day every morning and the excitement and energy to crave God’s challenges and His adventure. A curse as I struggle to enjoy wandering. To be content in stillness. I struggle with feeling insignificant with accomplishment. I fear days not filled with enough purpose, would not receive the stamp of approval from the big man.

My faith has weakened in wandering, I admit. My trust is tired in hiking through questions without the security of answers.

But I don’t think faith is supposed to come from security. I think security is supposed to come from faith.

I pray that I would remember that life will never be fully explainable. Emotion will never be constant. Coincidences & tragedies are not preventable. I pray that I would embrace uncertainty. Find joy in seeking.

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