I gathered 2019’s most significant guests,

Love, Pain, Faith, Change, and I –

to look back on our journey together, and celebrate the ways we have grown.

 

First, I looked to love.

“It’s been quite a year for us, hasn’t it?

But you are still my favorite teacher.”

“I’ve learned your presence is most precious

when I seek you in the places you already are,

rather than fixing my focus on your absence

In the spaces you aren’t meant to dwell yet.”

 

She nods,

“In the moments you can balance holding your chin up towards our journey ahead

and back at the days you leave behind,

those are the ones to cherish.

Because that is where you’ll always find me,

right alongside you.”

 

Next, I look to Pain, “I suppose I owe you an apology.”

“I always mistook you as someone I needed to fix –

But this year I realized you are part of my power

And when I chose to take your hand and march forward,

I realized you are refining me into a woman who is more resilient, more kind, and more aware of what she deserves”

 

“And where have you been?” I accused Faith.

“What do you mean?” she laughs –

Perhaps you haven’t realized

Grit, Trust, Resilience, these are all names I go by.

Even Doubt.”

I noticed, for the first time, how much her appearance had changed since last year.

She wore no makeup, her hair a mess of curls.

She arrived completely authentic

Brilliant, radiant.

And sat with her posture, for the first time –

Open to Love, Pain, and even Change.

 

Finally,

Change opened her mouth to speak.

I held myself tightly, sometimes her words can be

Daunting

or hard to comprehend.

“Thank you for finally inviting me this year”

she noticed my discomfort.

“Well, I suppose I somewhat invited myself,

But I think we’re headed somewhere magic – ”

She beamed.

“together we discovered honesty and passion and humility,

and I know I can be a bit much at times,

But thank you for trusting me.”

And I found myself whisper,

“I’m glad you came.”

 

I met eyes with my guests,

Love, Pain, Faith, and Change –

Their gazes illuminated with pride and deep gratitude

“Thank you for walking alongside me, this is my promise to you.

In 2020, I will honor everything we have become.”