I am learning everyday to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be inspire and not terrify me. 

Fall quarter taught me about the light in changing direction when my comfort zones no longer served me peace. I learned to stop fighting change – and day by day cultivate hope that it is contributing to my growth. What I’m still learning is to welcome change with grace and gratitude rather than merely accept it with bitterness and anger – but I think this is a shift that I will grow into if I allow God to guide me there.

And while I’m still in the process of this shift, I’lll admit writing this post makes me a bit uneasy because I don’t think I can nail down in bullet points what I’ve found yet. But I completely dishonor the beauty in who I’m becoming when I view growth as a checklist agenda. And as I stop to take a pause and rest during what feels like an uphill climb, my first instinct is to look ahead and feel defeated by the distance left to the top, rather than turn around and see how far I’ve come.

My hope is that I’ll choose to sit in the stillness of the holidays and see what’s seemed like a bumpy road as a journey that is bolder. I hope I look back on the highs and cherish them and look back on the lows celebrate the way they have given me empathy and humility.

Maybe it is a really beautiful thing to be brave enough to confront pain and recognize it as a powerful signal from within ourselves that something is not the way it should be. Maybe it is a mark of spiritual maturity to use pain as a catalyst to evolve, rather than settle for anything but wholeheartedness.

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In other news, I’m going to pull up my big girl pants and start sharing some of my lil poems at the end of my posts with the hope of growing more confident with them in 2020!! If you’re reading this I love you! Thanks for being on my team 🙂

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You have painted this morning

in golden December light, &

everything wrapped in it glows – gently & boldly

May I remember this

is the same light that held yesterday

and all the days

& although some days you allow

the rain to accompany it

and the wind to taunt it

the light remains constant, unchanging,

& though it may shine differently

season by season

May I remember this

Your light

is still what illuminates everything else