I believe in health, but I know that is complicated.

I know that my relationship with diet and exercise could be improved. Like a lot of women, I tend to calorie-count, exercise obsess, and feel guilty about what I eat far too often. However, I am blessed to have a sense of self-awareness that keeps my tendencies in control and steers diet and exercise away from owning who I am.

Unfortunately, my sense of self-awareness is rooted in the cross-country culture I grew up in. I’ve watched the love of running grapple people I love desperately with a body standard completely unrealistic to relate with happiness. I’ve watched food, something I believe God created to nurture our bodies, to be enjoyed in community – become the dictator of one’s worth. I’ve watched exercise snowball from a beautiful gift to a punishment for eating. Too many times – I’ve watched body image determine the self-worth of fearfully and wonderfully made women. Quite frankly – I’ve had enough.

I feel like I am always walking on the edge of going overboard. But – I am lucky. I’ve found trust in knowing my worth is rooted in something so much deeper than what I ate today or how many miles I ran.

Health is something I believe in. I love that I was given legs strong enough to carry me up mountains. I love crafting nutrient filled recipes knowing I am fueling my intricately created body to be lively and bright and nurtured. However – I also believe health goes far beyond diet and exercise. I don’t know what the point of maintaining such a unique machine would be if the machine didn’t do what it was built for.

That being said – I do think this machine needs good eats and a sweat a day. But I think that too much focus on this gets in the way of what we’re intended to find our purpose and meaning in. To extract the full measure of each day. To find joy in connection and life in relationships, identity in being a daughter of a king.

I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a running buddy, of women, including myself, who are in need of redefining health, and remembering who they are. I believe in the power of a team. A team with a mission to find beauty in becoming the best version of themselves. Not merely their exterior self, but the heart God created to work through them to expand His kingdom on earth. The lover, the learner, the change-maker.

I believe health goes far beyond diet and exercise. I believe health is community and friendship and reflection and joy and whatever the heck it is that fills your cup. I believe that health is recognizing our value and our potential and our humanness all at the same time. An identity beyond nutrition facts and mirror-image.

I recognize this is something completely left field of what I typically blog about, but I’ve realized that what I believe about health plays a big role into my faith: what I struggle with as well as what I’m fueled by.